dschmueck

I am so glad it's Friday, and we get a long weekend. We got a dump of snow this week which is a pain, but it's nice and sunny so that's all good. On wednesday night the Dragon and I went to Deathly Hallows. He hadn't seen it yet, so we went to the cheap theatre. He liked it, was happy to get to watch it again.

I'm still listening to that silly book. it's so LONG. I like the plot and certain parts are really good but a third of the book is the characters freaking out about stuff that never happens, if a character says " oh no! he's dead", he isn't. That happens a bunch. 3 hours and I'll be done it.

Current Location: my desk
Current Music: All Clear audiobook

Today I go help out at our church's youth group. I'm feeling a little nervous about it because last week I bailed last minute and the leader was not very happy with me. Hopefully she's not bitter about it or anything.

Last night the dragon (read husband) gave me the side eye for interacting on the internet. I don't think he likes me talking to strangers... It bugs me because I don't have a lot of friends here and I'm trying to interact a little more on the internet to see if that helps any. I know where he's coming from, he's looking out for me and generally suspicious of people he doesn't know, but I am a grown woman and I'm fairly certain I won't get axe murdered cause I talked in a couple of internet communities.

Well I should start settling back in to work.

Current Location: my desk
Current Music: multiple raidos and office gossip

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No! how else would I get cheap chocolate in the long space between Christmas and Easter?
Also, I don't really do anything for Valentine's Day, so no matter my relationship status it's never been a big deal.

Oh hey,
While I'm here I will talk about the book I am listening to.
Basically I have a simple job, so to kill the boredom and fidgiting I listen to either talk radio (news radio,cbc,bbc4), podcasts, or lately, audiobooks. So far this year I have listened to 11 books. It's good because it has been a while since I've read anything that was not fanfic. So what am I listening to today? All Clear By Connie Willis, it's ok. I'm kind of just sitting and waiting for the end.

Current Location: work
Current Music: 2 different radio stations

Yup, It's been over a year since I last posted here, and I could just be fooling myself, but I am fairly certain that nobody reads what I write here. So today I will blather on about me and my online life. I am a lurker. I have a really hard time interacting online. I don' know why that is. I find it hard enough to interact with strangers in real life, but the internet.... I'm pretty much a lurker in real life. I sit and wait until I can see a good opening and then I might say a little something. The thing about the internet is that you have to just jump on in. I'm not good at that. But every once in a while I think hey, I should give this another chance, I should talk to someone. So, I gather all my courage and write a comment. and then I disappear for another year or so. And I don't review, ever. Not because I'm a big jerk who hates people but because I don't know what to say. "That was pretty good" seems useless to me, and If a story really touched me or was terrible I don't want to bother the author. But you know what the thing is, I never get the response I want when I say stuff online. I don't need to be adored. I just want to be noticed and maybe seen as a person. I feel like I haven't really made any internet pals in the last.. I dunno 5,6 years? So here I am writing into the black and saying to myself I will review then next fic I read, and hope somebody notices me.

Current Mood: contemplative
Current Location: Mah B -E -A-utiful bed

I guess more often means roughly once a month. Well, in the past month I have:
-gone to the in-laws house twice
-gone to a funeral
-had my father in law over for a week(stressful)
-observed minor family drama
-gone to two movies (Avatar and Up In The Air)
-had Dragon boy's sister and brother in law visit for a weekend
-got a nasty cough which meant missing 4 days of work
-received what the doctor thinks is an intercourse related injury(the story is actually not as funny as one would imagine)
-drank a whole beer... it wasn't very good
-played 17 hours of final fantasy.
-had a cry in the middle of a mall over my christmas present.
-been told by my husband to be more positive.
-Worked out on the wii fit.

Pretty exciting!

Sitting outside the movie theater because I couldn't stomach District 9. I'm listening to Philip Glass piano solos and feeling lonely. I could go back into the movie, but I'd rather not at this point. I think I would be able to watch it at home but the combination of shaky camera, violence and a Chinese buffet for dinner make for a wimpy girl. Oh well, mostly I just feel bad for wasting the ticket money.

Current Mood: calm
Current Music: metamorphosis one by Philip Glass

I updated last in March. Wow. I'm on here a lot so every once in a while I feel the need to post. I don't have much to post about, I never really do. The other day I was going through my friends list and I cut a couple things. While I've been on LJ for I think 5 years, I've always been really shy about it. Ending up being more of a lurker than somebody who actively engages in the community. When someone comes right out and says " friend me strangers!" then I friend them. But other than that, I keep to myself, reading friends entries and friendslists and not commenting unless it's something I feel I need to say. Where the internet makes a lot of people able to speak out and act silly, it just makes me shy. So this is to say, if you hear me, I want to be in the community but I don't feel I have anything to offer. So if I write a comment to you, and I sound weird, it;s because I thought the comment out a million times before I posted it and I just refined it to it's most akward.

Current Mood: lonely
Current Location: the bed that I love and spend all my spare time on
Current Music: the dog upstairs

Ok, week, four of the job hunt. By this point I could have been working at McDonalds for a solid two weeks. Instead, I am still sitting at home and being a crankypants.

I have decided that today will be different. Today I will do the dishes and I will takout the garbage and I will be done in time to go see a three dollar movie. And if I don't finish in time I will go see it tomorrow.

Seriously though, this is getting old. My last hope right now is Booster Juice. Then it's off the McDonalds with me. I really wanted this EB Games job, gah! ok!

TO THE DISHES!

Current Mood: angry

So, here I am, in another town. As a city I kind of like it. it's four ties the size of my hometown and ten times the size of the town we just lived in. Mostly this just means more stores and movie theaters and places to eat. Dragon Boy's best friend lives nearby so we get to hang out a lot. He's a bad influence as far as saving money goes (We see a lot of movies), but it's really nice to have him around.

   But a new town means a new job. I had a job. I thought it would be pretty good, but right after the first interview I got bad vibes. Everyone I talked to said to hold on, so I did. I lasted two shifts. My last shift was eight hours long. When I came in that morning I had no idea how long my shift was going to be. About two hours in they told me I had a four hour shift, which was fine with me. But then, right at the four hour mark they told me I was staying. It wasn't a question, it was just a fact. So I kept working. For another four hours. Without a break. This meant ho food other than the stale donut they gave me two hours into the shift. So at the end of that, I quit. Mostly because I am a sissy, but also because the girl I worked with didn't have a break either and that seemed normal to her. And I know I could not work five shifts a week like that.
   So, this means I am still unemployed. Today I am heading out to look for more bookstores or another place that would hire a slacker like me. My last resort will be McDonalds again, so I really hope I can find something else.
   Other than the job stuff, not much is happening I have been trying to watch Dances With Wolves on streaming video for the last day, so that is going well, I am now 140 minutes in. Well I have another 2 minutes loaded, so I'm gonna go watch that.

Current Mood: okay
Current Location: right where you left me
Current Music: the dryer and Dances With Wolves

I want junk food. I want escapism. I want the temporary happy feeling I get when I buy something. I want to be in a different place. I want to be strong. I don't want to be wrong. I want to go somewhere and listen to music in the car. I want my friends. I want a hug.

Current Mood: sad
Current Location: bed

So, yesterday Dragon Boy got laid off, which means that he needs to find a new job, and I need to try and find another one. In other good news his car won't pass the insurance inspection, so we need a new car. So, in celebration of his layoff and the belt tightening it will cause, we went out for supper and we went to see Australia

( I liked it )
So that was last night, and on Sunday night I forced the Dragon Boy to see Twilight with me.

( I liked it better than the books, but now I want to read them again. )
Yup, other than that, things have been going ok. Still no snow, oh and I got a suitcase full of yarn from my Grandma, which means I don't have to buy any more yarn for a while. well I need to do dishes and eat.

Current Mood: hopeful
Current Location: on the couch avoiding housework
Current Music: Moulin Rouge Soundtrack

So, I moved here a month ago, and I was going to get a job right away. But then I stalled. I needed to print out resumes(I don't have Word or a printer.), clean the house (I am lazy....) and was waiting for a windfall (The three years of tax returns I should finally be getting after my dad finally filed and stopped being so silly about it.). Eventually, I was just stalling. I did however hand out two resumes. One, was really far away, not really my dream job, but full time, good pay and possibilities of advancement. The other, within walking distance and not hiring, which sucked because, it looked like somewhere I would really like to spend my days. So, I had begun my plans to try and print off another resume. These are elaborate plans which include a city 5 hours away or a city 12 hours away, in short, I was getting there.
Anyway, I was sleeping when it happened. The phone rang, It was the bookstore, and apparently they are hiring now. It will be part time, which makes me wonder if all the jobs I like are part time. But I think it's a walkable distance and it looks like a pretty awesome place. Here are my impressions:

small business, which could either be good or bad,
crazy layout! It makes me want to tidy the whole store. It's amazing, in the age of lots of chain bookstores, and me not doing a lot of traveling or exploring I haven't actually seen a real bookstore that has so many of it's books in piles.
I think it's mostly used books, but they have loads of magazines and comics and manga.
Mostly women working, again either really good or really bad.
Can I afford part time, minimum wage?..... for now...
The walking distance may be tough in the winter, but I do need to start walking again.
eeeeeeeeee. I am really excited about this. I hope it's as cool as I seem to think it is.

Ok, so 10;15 tomorrow. What will I wear?

Current Mood: bouncy
Current Location: On the couch
Current Music: a clock ticking and my computer wheezing

It's been 30 weeks or something since last I posted and now I find myself in a new town, married, jobless and with a computer that is getting more cranky and horrible everyday. Welcome to my tale, wherein I rant about electronics and why I don't deserve them.
( My torturing of electronics goes all the way back to the day when I dropped my walkman in the bathtub. )Also, the W on my keyboard is being stubborn too!

Current Mood: bitchy
Current Music: Holy Diver, Dio

You are young still. We all are. But you, you still have so much ahead of you. I am afraid because you are so fragile. I know that nobody wants to be told that they are fragile, but you are. You don't see it, and that makes me want to find the mirror that lets you see exactly who you are and who you could be. A mirror that lets you see how huge your heart is, how badly you want the world to feel loved and happy. I want you to see the mind that would throw itself in harm's way rather than see your friends hurt one bit. I hate that you think you are worthless, because I think the world needs more people like you. I hope desperately that you make it through this torture and grow strong and whole. I wish with all my heart that these trials do not turn you into a bitter and sad version of yourself, hopeless and full of fear. I want so bad for you to grow into this heart that you have.

I haven't posted anything here in a while. My fan base of one ran away to facebook and I followed. I always wish that I could just write what I think , so here goes. I'm tired, not physically, but mentally. I'm starting to hate things and people and I don't like that feeling. I don't like having to hold all my feeling in but I don't know what else to do with them. I feel like I could and should be this amazing, creative and cool person, but I'm too scared and I keep holing myself back. I've been lurking in fanfiction for the past five years or something and I've probably written one, maybe two things. I make friends, but only after I've lurked for waay to long. Every once in a while I say to myself, " This is it, today you are going to comment and not delete it, it doesn't matter if you think you are cool enough, just try it." and I just get scared and lazy again.
So here I don't care if anyone reads this or not but I know that I need to grow up.

( under a cut as to not disturb anyone who may possibly be out there... )

Wow, It's been a while hasn't it. After certain people moved to facebook, that stopped posting here. Sad. I don't have much to say. I have become a lurker again. well....... back into darkness then.

Current jobs: three
Jobs I like: two
Hours of spare time today: three
HOORAY!

So I have a laptop now, so much for saving money... But guess where I work? A library! I'm pretty excited about it, I get to shelve book for 16 hours a week. This means that I have to find another job, which I'm not super excited about, but still, things are going pretty good..... over..and out

Current Music: Flight of the Concords, Most Beautiful Girl in the Room

I made bread! and I only fell over like 5 times, I didn't wipeout or anything. So, I went to church and then came home then went to spend most of my computer time.

( Under this cut is what's going on in my life... )

Current Mood: sad
Current Music: Jenny- Flight of the Concords

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dschmueck

February 2011

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